Away from the boardroom, women are a commodity

By Hajira Amla

Cases of rape and sexual abuse perpetrated against women and children no longer make the headlines in South Africa. It has become a fact of life. The Centre for the Study of Violence and Reconciliation says that only one in twenty rapes are reported to the police. The South African Police Services has estimated that a rape takes place in this country every 35 seconds. Only 2% of cases brought to court actually result in a conviction.The majority of men in South Africa - regarless of colour, religion or culture - seem to regard women in this democratic country as a commodity. Even so-called “enlightened” men - those who work in corporate environments and who strangely enough seem to genuinely respect women as their colleagues - have the ability to go to a nightclub or bar, point at a woman and say “I want that one” as if she were no more than a particularly fresh-looking loaf of bread on a shop shelf. They no longer feel guilty about cheating on their spouses because in our society we are taught to indulge our every desire.

And regardless of colour, religion or culture, every woman who has ever been raped or sexually abused suffers mental trauma for years or even the rest of her life - long after the physical bruises have healed.

To rape a woman is to reinforce the belief that she exists only for the sexual pleasure of a man, that her life, her intelligence, her desires, her needs and wants melt away in the face of violent desire. Now, even educated, seemingly successful women seem to have been conditioned by society to be promiscuous. Who is to blame? Who is responsible for the popularization of the objectification of women?

No mention is made of the consequences of the thoughtless fulfillment of sexual desires. Ever noticed how long-term relationships are the exception rather than the rule? That the institution of marriage is for “old people”? That multiple partners and the availability of porn seems to be such a commonplace thing? That little children are being sexually abused by their own family members as well as their parent’s lovers? That kids are expected to grow up watching both parents have a string of partners waltz in and out of the bedroom? Do we even wonder why they repeat what they see?

In a democratic society where citizens are so free in their sexual behaviour, the message broadcast to men is that every woman at a social gathering is available for their sexual gratification. Is it a message that is being passed on to our children by adults? Childline released statistics last week that 40% of sexual abuse this year was perpetrated by minors - a shocking statistic and an indication that something has gone seriously wrong in our society. Perhaps the old “verkrampte” morals of yesteryear weren’t so bad after all…